Man Ling :D

Saturday, June 1, 2013

http://www.123passportphoto.com/

8:52 AM

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Happy birthday Russell! :) glad that we were part of your party!

10:01 PM

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Last LMS lesson was pretty interesting and fun. It was actually a test for all of us individually, as a group and as a class.

There were 3 tasks we had to complete in order to “survive” the game. Firstly, we had to find someone within the school compound and sing him/her a birthday song as a group. We find it really amusing because we simply ask the name of the particular person, and started singing birthday song to her. It also attracted the attention of the students in canteen 1 as well, making us the centre of attraction during that period of time.

Secondly, we had to each ask his/ her telephone number from the opposite sex, this should be one of the great challenges to us, especially girls during the game. Being girls, we tend to be rather shy and embarrassed to be the one taking initiative asking for phone numbers, even if it’s for the game objective. However we managed to overcome the internal fear within us, and went on to approach students along the way for phone numbers.

Lastly, for the last part of the game, we had to do something to attract the attention of students on the campus. Hence we did this part together as a class. As some of us got the ideas of attracting students through the videos we watch on youtube regarding the Japanese pranks. Therefore we decided to improvise some of the ideas, and apply it to this game. We tried many times before it actually was successful. Our whole class simply followed this student and tried all means to stand in front as well as the back of him. Then, someone shouted “squat” and every one of us simply squat down with our hands over our heads. The person indeed got a shock and did somewhat the same action as us which is indeed the response of what we wanted to achieve.

From these activities, actually I learnt about the way I can overcome the internal fears within myself, in order to achieve the respective results.

7:20 AM

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Conflict management Styles Questionnaire

1. You and your sibling (or parents) both want to use the computer at the same time.
A I would give up wanting it; no questions asked.
B I would try to force the other party to let me use the computer first.

2. You were upset with a friend for not doing her share of the work for a project. In effect, you did the entire project by yourself.
A I would not tell her how I feel but I would give up on her as a good friend.
B I would listen carefully to my friend’s reasons, and if his reasons were good, I would not let the tutor know that she hasn’t done a thing.

3. You and a classmate both want to use the printer at the same time.
A I would give in to my classmate and write her off as a friend.
B I would ask to solve the problem by suggesting that one person prints the documents for both of us. In the end, both of us wait the same amount of time.

4. You and a classmate both don’t want to be the presenter for the group.
A I would give in to my classmate and write her off as a friend.
B I would compromise by working out an arrangement for alternating the role of presenters for future presentations.

5. You and your friend both are deciding where to go for dinner.
A I would try to force my friend to go where I want to eat even if this will upset her.
B I would listen carefully to my friend and if she is able to convince me, I would let her have her way because a good friend is important.

6. You and your classmate are working on a group project. Both of you want to draw the illustrations, neither wants to write the report.
A I would insist on drawing the illustrations, not caring if she was angry or upset with me.
B I would compromise by agreeing for each of us to draw half the illustrations and write half the report.

7. Your neighbour told you to clean the drain outside your house as the dead leaves can harbour mosquito breeding grounds. You see no reason why you should be the one doing all the hard work when it is a common drain.
A I tell my neighbour to clean the drain himself if the dead leaves are bothering him.
B I would ask for both of us to work on cleaning the drain together since it is a common drain that lies between both your properties.

8. You and your date are going to a movie. You have been dying to watch “Superman” but your date insists on watching “Pirates of the Caribbean”.
A I would choose to watch “Pirates of the Caribbean” because my relationship with my date is important.
B I would suggest that both of watch the animated film “Cars” instead.

9. Your colleague told several other people some unflattering information about you.
A I would listen carefully to why he said those negative things about me, and if his reasons were more valid, I would forgive him.
B I would try to solve the problem by asking my colleague what happened and work out an agreement where you will discuss differences openly.

10. You believed that you did most of the work on a joint project; so did your colleague.
A I would compromise by agreeing that we both did half.
B I would try to solve the problem by reviewing each aspect of the paper and decide who had done how much on that aspect.

SCORING INDEX
Circle the letters below that you circled on each question. Then total the number of letters circled in each column.

Accommodating (The Teddy Bear)

Teddy bears value harmony and want to be accepted or liked by others. To teddy bears, relationships are of great importance while their own goals are of little importance. They will give up their goals and let the other person achieve his or hers.

Life experience:

Personally I totally agree to the result of the managing conflict questionnaire that I have done. Indeed relationships can create a very big impact in my life, be it positively or negatively. For instance, I need my parents to show their concern towards me every day especially in the case when I am the only child in the family. Hence a simple hug from them will be enough to keep me cheerful all day long, as through this action, I am able to sense the love from them. This is crucial to me for I strongly believe that this is what it takes to build a strong relationship between each other. Thus the relationships build between one another matters a lot to me, either making me more fulfilling or causing a pitfall in the journey of my life. In the times of conflicts, most of the time, I would follow the suit of my friends if my decision differs from them. Looking at the positive side, it is a way of how I treasure the friendship among us for I see it much more important than the decisions in my life. On the other hand, this personality of mine actually portrays the weakness in me ---- unable to make a firm decision. Whenever my decision differs from the others, I would easily be convinced and suit the decision of the rest, and would not fight for my decision to the end. This is mainly because I see that this would just end up in an argument which is unnecessary for it to happen, hence I chose this “method” to avoid conflicts to happen and keep it to the minimal, for I believe that conflicts would only strain the relationship between friends and cause many subsequent problems after that.
In my journey of life, I hope that I can slowly change from a personality of accommodating (teddy bear )to someone who has a character of collaborating (owl). This is because an ‘owl ‘is able to balance both relationships and realistic problems. Hence it will not affect their perspective in looking at the way of handling the problems that arise in their lives which I believe will land them in an objective position.

Kare Anderson’s Model for Conflict Resolution

Step 1: Know yourself and focus on what is most important to you. Identify the best outcome you hope to attain, your goal, and the minimum acceptable outcome you’ll accept. What will the result look like? How does it relate to my bottom line? How will it make me feel? Would the solution bring you closer to other person?

Step 2: Probe for others’ needs. Don’t assume what the other person wants. Take time to validate your assumptions before acting on them. Give allowance for the other’s lack of self-awareness. Use it to anticipate trouble and skirt it. Anticipate how he reacts to your actions when you meet him to resolve the conflict. Speak in a manner that the other person feels comfortable to you. Look for sources of fear and anger.

Step 3: Invest time to build trust. Show that you are really listening. Acknowledge differences and seek suggestions on how to move towards a mutually agreeable solution. Spend more time to get to know him. Practise smiling and watch your body language. Ask important question and for advise so as to find out exactly WHAT HE WANTS, HOW HE FEELS. LISTEN to show respect and that he is being heard. Control your negative emotions. (Discover their real intentions)

Step 4: Address the other person’s interest first. If you have ideas that are close to his ideas, desires and value, spell them out clearly. Explain the benefits to him; demonstrate how they relate to your benefits. Begin with positive points, move on to negative news and end on a positive note. Providing more options will help you to move towards agreement. Stay flexible. Don’t argue if you are not prepared. Acknowledge but need not agree.

My MBTI Personality test

ISFP (Dominant Introverted Feeling)

Usually gentle and kind, they are intense and passionate about their values and deeply held beliefs, which they share with trusted friends. Because of their discreet manner, their enthusiasm may not be apparent. They are sensitive to others' pain, restlessness or general discomfort and strive to find happiness, balance and wholeness for themselves in order to help others find joy, satisfaction and plenitude. They are deeply empathetic.

They live life in an intently personal fashion, acting on the belief that each person is unique and that social norms are to be respected only if they do not hinder personal development or expression. They strive to adhere to their own high personal moral standards and are particularly sensitive to inconsistencies in their environment between what is being said and what is being done. Empty promises of adhering to something they value – such as environmental causes or human rights - set off an inner alarm and they may transform themselves into modern day Joan of Arcs.

They are quietly persistent in raising awareness of cherished causes and often fight for the underdog in quiet or not-so-quiet ways. In a team, they will raise issues of integrity, authenticity, and good or bad, and may to opt out if the team refuses to address the questions raised. They are usually tolerant and open-minded, insightful, flexible and understanding. They live for the understanding of others and feel deeply grateful when someone takes the time to get to know them personally. They have good listening skills, are genuinely concerned, insightful, and usually avid readers. At their best, they inspire others to be themselves.

3:44 AM

Managing negative emotions

Through the life management skills on managing negative emotions, I have actually learnt several things. Firstly, I learnt how to manage these emotions much better than before, especially on jealousy. For instance, in the past, I have encountered similar problems as the one in the group skit, whereby my best friend actually excels in academic areas better than I am. However, I do not have that deep degree of jealousy as compared to the one in the skit. Even so, I believe that jealousy is always present in our daily lives. Therefore, with these strategies that I have come across, I have a better understanding as to how I can do to prevent myself from falling deeper into the dark side of jealousy. Instead, I should turn the event around and look it from another perspective. Jealousy will definitely be experienced during the process, but we can probably use it to spur us in order to perform better. Looking on the brighter side, I might be much better in other aspect, such as musically-inclined, sports or maybe the slightest issue – strong relationship I have with my family and friends. Therefore I believe that this will help me to strengthen the friendship between myself and her, furthermore these strategies has create a positive impact in my life.

I have also understood that self-esteem and confidence in reality comes hand in hand together. If we have low self-esteem within ourselves, our level of confidence will therefore be low as well. With such confidence level, we will not be able to accomplish many events which I believe will be helpful to us be it in terms of studies, life fulfillment, building strong relationships with loved ones, etc. Under such circumstances, our daily life will be adversely affected as well. We might not be able to interact with friends around and thus will affect our communication skills which are crucial in studies or even work in the future. Being able to do things confidently and with assurance is something really difficult to attain. However I strongly believe that both self esteem and confidence can be built up gradually during our teenage years, through projects presentation, socializing with one another, attending adventure camps, etc. Therefore, if we make an effort to enhance our confidence level, our life would be more enriching and fulfilling. There’s nothing too late as long as I chose to take that step out.

3:00 AM

My Personal Definition of Success

Who do you consider an example of success? What are the reasons?

Personally, I feel that an example of success will be my dad. This is because he has a wonderful career of an accountant that he really enjoyed to be in. He too has a caring and loving family who is always supporting him in all the activities and plans that are ongoing all the time. Most importantly, I understand that he has gone through many obstacles to come this far in life. From the time when he was still a student, and my grandparents were very poor, and my dad had to work hard to pay for his own university school fees. Following by, through the times when the economy has undergone recession, and he was being retrenched due to the closing down of the company. Until now, whereby he has climbed all the way up to the position that he always wished for, with the support from his dearest family.

My own definition of success is that from every experience I gained, I managed to learn something from it. This is because I feel that the commonly definition of success which is to have a stable income, good prospect in career, a loving family, etc are too materialistic in life. Indeed they are crucial factors to lead a proper life, however without them; I strongly believe that we can still be successful in term of other aspects. Therefore, the experience gained is the achievement for me, be it in terms of the wonderful results we have accomplished through our effort or simply the relationships bonded between one another.

What must be present for me to be proud and consider myself successful in the following areas?

Family
Being the only child at home, I feel that having loving parents are very important to me. For me, I believe that a family should always come together and show care and concern for one another no matter how busy each other life is going on. Even a simple hug or a sentence of concern is sufficient to keep a family close together again.

Career
For me, If I can start a career in something I have a passion in it; it’s a success for me. Despite people’s negative comments, I hope to show them that there is actually a good prospect in the career and hence influence their mindset from then on.

Health
To be able to live healthily in both mind and body until the age of 75 without having to be a burden for my children.

Love
Able to love and be loved by my spouse and family for it is the relationship we have for each other that makes each of our lives fulfilling and fruitful.

Money
For me, money is secondary; the most important issue is that to be contented with what I have.

Others(friendship)
Personally, friendship is very important in my life. I cherish the moments spent with all of them, for I feel that they are the ones that know me best and care for me besides my beloved family. I always believe that best friends exist in my life for a friend in need is a friend indeed!

What’s My Passion?

I have been really unsure about my passion few years back. But since last year, I have become certain of the passion I have, which is to serve the people in need, and bring them back to the right track in life. The passion has probably stirred due to the trip I went for CIP to the Canossian Primary School whereby we actually teach the autistic children as well as those who require the hearing aid to survive. Hence through that experience, I had the mindset that every person has a choice of the way they want to lead their life, and for those who actually turn into the wrong path in the journey of their life due to some circumstances, they always long for the help from us. And what we can do is simply by lending a helping hand to them and picks them up from their obstacles. I feel that for those who have always be in the right track of their journey, it is a gift for them and they should learn to cherish every moment of their lives.

Identify My Talents

I have done a personal inventory in the early part of the module. Identify my strengths or talents below:

The three words that best describes me are friendly, outgoing, and thoughtful.

Personally I feel that being friendly and outgoing are important for me in bonding with my friends and especially new classmates. They help to make connections with one another, and hence knowing oneself better. Being thoughtful allows me to have a better understanding of my friends and hence aid them in all kinds of aspects in life if they required help.

MY Passion-Driven Vision

1. What would I love to do?

Personally, I love to play the piano because I feel that it was through music that I find the other talent of myself. My greatest hope is that I am able to bring joy and happiness to my friends around me through the music I played for I believe that music is the heart to someone’s soul. Hence to understand each other better, music will be a great alternative as well.

2. What am I capable of doing now?

I am capable of performing up to my expectation for my passion for music (piano) now. However, through the music I played, I may not have bring joy and enjoyment to the friends around me as it requires not only the skills you have, but also the enthusiasm and zeal you possess for music. And it is the latter that matters the most for without the fervour for it, we can never bring the joy to other people.

3. What are my talents/ strengths? What makes me unique?

My strength is that I am determined to always put in my best effort in all the things I do. I always believe that as long as I have tried my best, even if I did not achieve up to my expectation, it is a valuable experience for me. Hence I will pick myself up within a short period of time and continue to be resolute to strive for better results in the future. One thing unique about me is the cheerful personality I have within me. Most of the time, I would give people my widest smile hoping that I could brighten up someone’s day with some funny jokes of mine.

4. What do I want most out of life?

To be contented with what I have, my dearest family, beloved friends and the achievements I have. Always to stay cheerful and positive-looking in most circumstances and keep strong relationships with people whom I love dearly.

MY VISION

I will bring joy and happiness through the music that I play, using my ability of the strong determination I possess and the cheerful personality, thus in so achieving the purpose of helping people in need and contributing useful to the society.

2:49 AM

Saturday, July 12, 2008

1. My Definition of Fear is…

False evidence appearing real

For myself, my definition of fear is a feeling that will cause great discomfort to me and make me got frightened easily. I strongly believe that everyone has got his/her own fears and we can never prevent these things from happening. However, we can learn how to manage these fears that we possess and transform it into a positive one. The things that i fear of are the general ones for instance, creepy creatures (cockroaches, etc),dogs, and dark. One fear that i haven within me which i feel that it is quite unique in the sense that it is not the common fear that the others have, and that is the thunder and lightning. Since young, i have always been terrified of both of them, for they give me a sense of insecurity which i am frightened of. In the case of rainy days when either thunder or lightning exists, i would be the first one to cover my ears which has become a habit for me. Even though, deep down in my heart, i knew that by doing this simple action i would still be able to hear the majestic sound made by the nature, i feel much more secure in my heart and less afraid as before. Therefore i felt that fear has always been around me, and the only way i could defeat fear is through the way i learnt on how to actually manage these fears and hence control my emotions.

2. How Much Do You Know About Fear?

Answer Agree (A) / Disagree (D) in the second column

1. Fear is part of growing up. (A)

2. Fear is accompanied by physical symptoms.(A)

3. Freedom from fear is possible. (A)

4. Courage is the absence of fear.(D)

5. Fear is bad for you.(A)

6. Fear consumes your energy.(A)

7. Overcoming fear boosts self confidence.(A)

8. Fear can be exaggerated. (A)

1. Physical Signs of Fear

List down the physical signs of fear.

Tightened Muscles
Panting
Heart beat getting faster
Hyperventilation
Body weaken
Face turning white
Unclear speech
Tightened fist
Sweating
Negative emotions aroused

2. Negative Feelings and Thoughts

Feeling stupid
Feeling nervous
Negative emotions aroused

3. Fear-driven Behaviours

Eating disorders
Addiction to cigarettes, alcohol, etc.
No interest in studying
Stammers when talking
Getting frightened easily
Body freezes
Portraying negative emotions more often
Feels cold
Shivering

Managing Fears

Step 1 Know Your Fear

1. Work out what it is you fear
Is there something you would very much like to do but too afraid to do so? Think about what you are most afraid of. Is it a fear of an emotion, person, situation, or future?

As mentioned above, I am fearful of the dark and negative side of nature (thundering with lightning). I have always wanted to try sleeping without a lamp beside me, and without the company of my mom to sleep in with me during rainy days. I feel that I have indeed grown up and should learn to be independent and not rely that much on my parents as before. Hence sometimes I really wish that I can be less dependent on them. However when the following situations occur, the fear in my heart simply overtake my normal self, and I was again back to clinging onto my mom for “help”. With her around, I will feel much secured and able to sleep comfortably during rainy days. And the lamp that has always been beside my room eventually acts as the “mom” I have always grip onto, whereby this happens only when in sunny nights.

2. Identify the triggers of your fear
Think about the triggers of your fear. It could be a situation, a feeling, or a person, who sets off the fear.

The trigger for my fear is simply the fact that I am the only child in the family; hence this builds up the personality of shy and fearful within me. Being the only child, it is natural that I become more and more dependent on my parents compared to other teenagers during the years of growing up. It is the mindset that everyday our parents would be there to handle our problems and direct our lives into the right path which contribute to the high level of dependency towards them. Hence I believe that this is the main trigger of the fears that possess within me, which the dependency that I have actually turns out to be a negative one that cause many effects in my life and one of them is definitely – FEAR in terms of insecurity, surroundings, and many more.

3. Be aware of your fear-driven responses

i. Physical Signs of Fear
Write down the physical signs of your fear.

- My heart pounds rapidly
- I feel cold
- I will shiver
- My body does not respond – freezes
- I stammers and my voice will shakes

One incident that I remembered clearly was during the massive blackout island wide in Singapore, it was that time that I felt the feeling of fear very different from before. I was alone at home with my grandparents at that time. My parents were still not back from work. When the light actually blackout, I screamed at the top of my voice and broke into tears. I called for my grandma and hug her tightly. We couldn’t find the torch light for it was really too dark and I remembered that I was so frightened that I held onto her hands tightly. We went round the house searching for torch light and we finally found one, we settled down and wait for my parents to come home. It was then that I realised that this blackout affects the entire neighbourhood around us, and thus was a massive blackout. The whole house was only lit with a tiny strength of light coming from the torch light. I was terrified and held onto grandma tightly. I was so worried that she might fell asleep since it was rather late at night, so I kept talking to her, and reminding her not to fall asleep. It was then when my parents came back and that was another obstacle for me. As the whole corridor was very dark, I couldn’t even see the image of my parents. The only way to find out was to ask questions and tried to recognise the voices. I was fearful that it might be strangers which I opened the door to. This was indeed an experience for me that have indeed left its footprint in my heart. It was indeed a great challenge to me, and I was glad that I have managed to overcome it with the help of my grandmother.

ii. Negative Feelings, Thoughts and Behaviours
Write down the negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviours you have when you experience fear.

In the experiences of fear, indeed many negative thoughts flashed through my mind.
- “ Will the blackout eventually resume?”
- “ Will the thunder and lightning stop?”
- “ What happens if grandma wasn’t with me?”
- “What happens when all these happened when I was alone?”
- “ Will I be able to overcome it?”

Step 2: Commiting to master your fear

1. State your goal(s) for mastering your fear
Make your goal(s) specific and concrete. Think about how your life can be improved if you achieved this goal and how you want to feel.

- Sleep in my own room without a bright lamp beside me
- Sleep without the company of mom whenever there is thunder or lightning
- Try my very best to only seeking assistance from my mom at the last resort

I hoped that I will be less dependent on my parents in terms of fear whereby I can learn to manage and overcome it through my own effort. If I am able to conquer fear, I will feel a sense of achievement and I believe that my parents will be proud of this whereby their daughter has indeed grown up spiritually in terms of actions and in the mindset. With this, I believe that I will be a much confident and determined girl who will possess a positive attitude towards my journey of life.

Step 3 Reduce Physical Signs of Fear

1. Deep Breathing Exercises

STEP 1 Put your hand on your abdomen. Tighten your abdominal muscles so that they feel tense. Hold the tension for a few seconds.
STEP 2 Relax your abdominal muscles. Feel the difference between the tension and the relaxation.
STEP 3 With you hand still on your abdomen. Now breathe in through the nose in such a way that your hand is pushed up by the inflated abdomen. Hold your breath for a moment.
STEP 4 Breathe out through the mouth and notice how your abdomen contracts and your hand goes down.
STEP 5 Repeat Steps 3 and 4 about ten times and notice how you become calmer as you are doing this exercise.

2. Counting Breaths

STEP 1 Close your eyes, breathe in so your abdominal area rises. Then breathe out.
STEP 2 In your mind, count “1”. Keep your thoughts focussed on breathing only.
STEP 3 Continue breathing in and out; each time you breathe out, count the next number in your mind.

3. Visualisation

Create a mental imagery of a relaxing place, e.g. a beach, a romantic garden, or by the river. Explore, using your imagination, the visual sights of the place. Imagine the tactile sensations that you can feel and the sounds you can hear.

4. Physical Exercise

Step 4 Deal with Negative Self-Talk

Script your internal dialogue where you reframe your negative self-talk (cognitive restructuring) that you had generated for Step 1. At the same time, write a few self-affirming statements.

- I can copy with my current lifestyle even with new surrounding and modules that I am taking
- I can score well for my upcoming examinations
- I can brighten up someone’s day at all occasions
- I can sleep without turning any lights on

Step 5 Make an Action Plan

Goal: Achieve a degree of accountancy in local university

Milestones:
- manage time well between school, family, friends and interest (piano)
- consult tutors and friends/ seniors if I have problem understanding the topic
- revise my work regularly so that I will not have to collate everything to the day before the test, whereby it will hence affect my results
- obtain a GPA of at least 3.5 so as to qualify for university locally

Resources needed to achieve goal:
- Save approximately $200,000 to study in a local university for the degree in the perspective of my parents

Possible obstacles:
- may not be able to achieve the amount needed to study in a local university due to the high cost of living and inflation rate
- time management would be a great challenge to me because I have to handle both projects in school as well as my another goal which is to achieve the diploma in music
- May have difficulty understanding new modules every new semester

Personally I feel that there are opportunities for me to overcome and conquer these problems as they are more important issues compared to them. Most importantly, I feel that it is the passion and enthusiasm I possess for the field that I want to study that matters. Without the zeal to commit in the area, all the issues will transform into a challenge to me and no matter how hard I tried, I will not be able to obtain good results that I always hope to achieve. This is because without the passion that drives me to excel better, there is no way I can obtain good results, for passion is the root factor that contributes to the success of a person!

8:12 AM